And here it goes.

Alright. So I'm going to post. It may be pretty melancholy though. I'm going to do my best not to be too much of a downer.

So, I'm heartbroken. Again. It's a very complicated and twisted story - in which I am not going to reveal the most major details of (primarily because the two people who know will understand why.) It's tough to have someone tell you how much they care about you. And tell you that "if you didn't work together he wouldn't even be thinking that way" or that "he doesn't want to lose me." It was the first time in my life that I actually felt fully appreciated for being a 'pretty awesome all around girl.' I've always believed that I was relatively intelligent, fun to be around, mildly amusing, and decent looking. This time, I actually felt like someone else believed it as well.

Anyways, there have been about five hours of conversation about the above so I don't want you to think that its as shallow as the three things I listed above.

But we've probably all experienced heartbreak. We all know it sucks. And yes, I did cry. And yes, my puking mentioned previously, was a result from my crying.

Tonight I am actually going to try to get out and get my mind off of things. I am going to go for a short bike ride, just to get some aggression out. (But more just to pretend like I'm being productive even though I know I feel like shit). Later tonight I am going to attend my first street dance in about 17 years. I will not, however, be drinking.... as I have almost completely cut that (as well as smoking) out of my life. Well, perhaps I'll have a beer or two - but I didn't make a verbal commitment to someone (the same guy as above) that I won't drink and drive anymore. Its something that we should all probably evaluate a little more heavily.

Well, you all asked me to update. Sorry that tonight's was lacking in any excitement and was such a self loathing post. But I know that most of you probably can empathize with me and my situation.

Quote that was just on tv that seems fitting: "Why does all love have to end?"