Apparently they don't know who they are dealing with.

Let me say first: if you've called me in the past day or two... I didn't get the message. If you are going to call me in the next day or two... I won't get the message. Best bet- email/IM/or look up my home phone only if you know my brothers name. And no, I can't check my voicemail from a remote phone.

My cellular company has just waged war with me. Surprisingly its not over a billing issue. It's over a service issue. My four month old $400 phone decided recently that it doesn't want to charge unless it has constant pressure on the connection. This results in many mornings filled with curse words since my phone did not charge and I must spend the rest of the day with an almost dead cell battery. It's not that I'm dependent on my phone.... well, wait, yes I am. So I went to TWO different stores of my cellular company today looking for recourse. They happily took my phone to send it in for service and gave me my SIM chip back. They also happily said, "Sorry, loaner phones are 4 weeks out, and this should take 4 to 6 weeks to return." I said, "Thats shitty." He told me how to put the SIM chip in my other Nokia phone (which was not present at the time.) I went home not being too concerned that I would be out of a phone for a couple hours.

I arrive home, dismantle my Nokia phone, and can not seem to figure out where the SIM chip goes. I muster up ideas for about ten minutes and admit defeat and call the cellular company. Now, this is where I become pissed.

My current service is GSM. My old service (with my Nokia phone) was digital TDA service. They don't offer digital plans anymore, and can only sign up people with GSM service. Therefor, my phone won't work. Fabulous.

It gets better.

I ask what I should do in this situation. The guy tells me I can wait for my phone to get serviced. (The absolute minimum time being two weeks--but the guy said six--so I'm thinking eight.) Ummm, no, I am dependent. They created me that way. The guy says I can buy a GSM phone on my cell account and return it in 14 days and I won't be charged. That still leaves me 4 weeks short of my goal.

I worked for a phone company before. I know how this works. I don't want sympathy. I don't want empathy. I want a solution! Somehow I get disconnected from "Adam" who has done all that he can do. I call back, request Adam, he has, surprise, left for the day. I continue talking with Amy.

Its going to get even better.

So, somehow they CAN give me back digital service and reactivate my Nokia phone (in 15 to 120 minutes). BUT..... when I go back to GSM service my plan will no longer exist (because I got it at a promotional time) and I will have to pay $5 more for the EXACT SAME PLAN I WAS JUST ON.

Here is what I say to the rep (though I was not yelling): "So, since my $400, 4 month old phone broke, the guy gave me the wrong information and said I could use my old phone (he should have known my phone was a GSM phone its obvious, seriously), they can't give me the standard loaner phone, you can't keep my old plan active.... I AS A CUSTOMER... must pay $5 more for the same service I had? I'm sorry, but thats bullshit."

The rep says: "I agree." (Well, at least someone here is with me.)

Well, I'm home now. Its three hours after I talked to all the people at the phone company. My cell phone is not working. I can't check my messages and I am pissed. They recommended going to a local office to see if a rep there could be of more assistance. Believe me, I won't back down to someone face to face. I never yelled at the phone and I won't face to face. However, we can be damn sure that I will walk out of there with working service AND I will be paying the same amount for service as I was before this all started, whether it be by a perpetual $5 credit on my account or another way. I will persevere. I will bring Cellular One (or this local office) to its knees.