A womans right to shoes.

I am involved in a torrid love affair. One that can never be matched by another being. It is sure to be a love that will span the rest of my life without wavering. (Don't tell my boyfriend.... well, if I had one, don't tell him!) I am in love with clothes.

I have inventoried my closet. Please note: that this is only my closet. It does not include the dresser, the clothes stored upstairs in containers because I did not have enough space in my room, nor does it include the clothes at my parents house.

MY CLOSET CONTAINS:
17 pairs of jeans.
6 pairs of 'other' pants.
8 pairs of dress pants.
34 sweaters.
22 hooded sweatshirts.
26 collared shirts. (both dress and polo)
15 skirts.
22 pairs of shoes.
9 jackets.

I know what you are thinking. "You don't wear skirts!" I'm with you there. Yet, somehow, I managed to amass 15 of them. Okay, maybe you were thinking, "Why does anyone need 34 sweaters?" Believe me, I am afraid at this point to even open my dresser in fear of more popping out a-la a jack in the box.

The real attrocity of this comes to when one (me) starts to figure out how much they have invested in their clothing. I alluded to this subject before when I spoke about the airline losing my "precious" luggage. So lets do some quick calculating:

Jeans are of the Lucky, Silvers, GAP variety (with a few Aeropostale to lower the average) so conservatively speaking we are looking at about $55 on average. Thats $935. Other pants are usually of the Limited/Express/Silvers variety so I would average them at about $35. Thats $490. Sweaters range anywhere from namebrand to offbrand so we will average those at about $25. Thats $850. Hooded sweatshirts are usually acquired from Pacific Sunwear and are on the low-end $40 a piece. Thats $880. Collared shirts are both dress from Express and polo from Aeropostale and probably average about $20 with my bargin shopping skills. $520. I usually don't spend much money on skirts so knowing that the ones I own were probably on sale (with the exception of a few more from Express/Limited) we are looking at about $20 a piece. $300 more. Shoes.... wow.... I'd say averaged about $55 a piece putting the total at $1210. Jackets, though a necessity, probably averaged about $45 between Spring and Winter coats. $405.

Lets see what we have now:
$935 in jeans
$490 in other pants/dress
$850 in sweaters
$880 in hoodies
$520 in collared shirts
$300 in skirts
$1210 in shoes.
$405 in coats.

That brings us to a grand total of: ... 5 ... carry the 9.... divide by .45.... .plus 500 .....

$5,590.

I, as a hardworking single women will state now, that absurd amount of clothing is my right. I may be broke but I have lots of sweatshirts to keep me warm in the summer. Plus, I really only wear about $300 worth of it anyways.

And so the day goes and I think to myself: I have nothing to wear.